Answering your kid’s queries is the most complex task. He always has so many questions to ask & add to it he is particularly a very emotional boy so it becomes really very difficult. How to answer him so that he is not mentally disturbed also. When he was around 4 I tried telling, him that its nothing but you get new skin like new clothes. Relieved for a while but not for long, soon he came up with—Does it happen with everyone? I answered with a yes & that was enough to make him cry. I don’t want you to leave me, he said sobbingly. I didn’t have the guts to go ahead with the truth so I modified my statement to—If we take care of our self, our diet, body & exercise & keep fit we might escape it, & even if it happens we always get new skin & come back( thought could give him the fact in small doses).
Now that he is 7 he has understood a bit but he thinks a lot about it. Just the other day when I was at my parents for vacation the news of Satya Sai Baba’s demise
came. I don’t know whether he heard it in news or read it in paper about his claim that he was a rebirth of Sai Baba & will again take birth. At night he was again ready with his set of questions.
In a very emotional manner he asked, mama I am quiet worried, I asked him gently- ‘Why’--- If you come back again with new skin & again take birth how will I find & recognize you. I was speechless this time, I myself was so confused. I wanted him to sleep soundly so I answered him- Don’t worry, we come to know about it automatically..
But I am still not sure –the next time he comes up with another query what to answer him. Answering his question is not the tough part, but the mere mention of death makes him cry, he is so sensitive that its difficult to watch the TV news also. He cries & thinks so much when he hears or sees anything(flood, earthquakes, etc….) That is the toughest thing handling him. How do I tell him not to think about it when I myself think a lot.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
A Small Attempt
A friend of my husband, attached to a NGO called'Wake Up India', asked us to join them to a visit to village called 'Vijaypur' for distributing old clothes, toys,eatables etc. in the 5 ashram's over there.
Hubby & I discussed it & decided to go for it as not only would it be a good cause but also mainly for our children, who(touchwood)live in entirely a different world. With a pool, remote controlled toys, cartoons, Wi & playstations to handle, Benten-spiderman dresses, movie parties- picnics, Mc Donalds & KFC is all they can think of. So we thought this might be an eye opener fot them, seeing the real world & maybe maybe they might start valuing what they have rather than grudge over that one toy which they didn't get.
So we told them we are going to a village & asked them to bring some toys(which they don't use) to give away--which I guess was the most difficult part for them. Suddenly all the toys even the broken ones) seemed to have become the most important ones & of immense use. Anyways packed some eatables & drinks & set off clubbing with 2 more families on the way & the NGO lady as well.
We reached Vijaypur after a drive of 2 hrs. The first ashram we went was 'The old age House'-asked our children to distribute the clothes & touch their feet & have their blessings. My son asked- why do they live here & not with their children? How do we explain him that these are the children who don't have time & money for parents who brought them into this world, looked after their wishes before their own needs. Then we went to an orphanage & kids who were mentally challenged. My son kept showering us with questions like where are their mom-dad? why did they leave them? How come these kids can't think properly?
These kids enjoyed the soft drinks & the snacks given to them as if it was something so valuable that was given to them. They relished everything given to them, on the contrary our kids take all this for so granted. We have to be really after them to finish lunch & dinner. This is one thing I wanted my kids to see & understand that you should thank God for whatever he has given & most importantly finish your meals & not waste them.
There was a lady with a 15day girl child whose husband had left her for giving birth to a girl. I felt like killing that man for such a coward act.`We had heard all such stories but seeing it in front of you, it was such a disappointing feeling that there are still people in our country who have such a narrow feeling. I wished I could change the mindset of these pepole & make them see that a girl child will love & care for them more than their son--there's an old saying
A son is a son till he gets his wife,
A daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life.
This doesn't mean that sons are bad because i know sons who are equally loving & caring but still.
Then we went to a blind school, where almost all kids from 2nd grade to graduation were getting education & most of them were very positive & confident that they would surely achieve something one day.That was a very positive feeling.
After all this activity we reached back home exhausted mentally & physically but quite satisfied. It felt good to have done something for them even if a very tiny contribution.
There was definitely some effect on kids too, though for a very short span because they were soon back to their normal life as even on the way back they were after us to stop for a bite & toy at the Mc Donald.
Hubby & I discussed it & decided to go for it as not only would it be a good cause but also mainly for our children, who(touchwood)live in entirely a different world. With a pool, remote controlled toys, cartoons, Wi & playstations to handle, Benten-spiderman dresses, movie parties- picnics, Mc Donalds & KFC is all they can think of. So we thought this might be an eye opener fot them, seeing the real world & maybe maybe they might start valuing what they have rather than grudge over that one toy which they didn't get.
So we told them we are going to a village & asked them to bring some toys(which they don't use) to give away--which I guess was the most difficult part for them. Suddenly all the toys even the broken ones) seemed to have become the most important ones & of immense use. Anyways packed some eatables & drinks & set off clubbing with 2 more families on the way & the NGO lady as well.
We reached Vijaypur after a drive of 2 hrs. The first ashram we went was 'The old age House'-asked our children to distribute the clothes & touch their feet & have their blessings. My son asked- why do they live here & not with their children? How do we explain him that these are the children who don't have time & money for parents who brought them into this world, looked after their wishes before their own needs. Then we went to an orphanage & kids who were mentally challenged. My son kept showering us with questions like where are their mom-dad? why did they leave them? How come these kids can't think properly?
These kids enjoyed the soft drinks & the snacks given to them as if it was something so valuable that was given to them. They relished everything given to them, on the contrary our kids take all this for so granted. We have to be really after them to finish lunch & dinner. This is one thing I wanted my kids to see & understand that you should thank God for whatever he has given & most importantly finish your meals & not waste them.
There was a lady with a 15day girl child whose husband had left her for giving birth to a girl. I felt like killing that man for such a coward act.`We had heard all such stories but seeing it in front of you, it was such a disappointing feeling that there are still people in our country who have such a narrow feeling. I wished I could change the mindset of these pepole & make them see that a girl child will love & care for them more than their son--there's an old saying
A son is a son till he gets his wife,
A daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life.
This doesn't mean that sons are bad because i know sons who are equally loving & caring but still.
Then we went to a blind school, where almost all kids from 2nd grade to graduation were getting education & most of them were very positive & confident that they would surely achieve something one day.That was a very positive feeling.
After all this activity we reached back home exhausted mentally & physically but quite satisfied. It felt good to have done something for them even if a very tiny contribution.
There was definitely some effect on kids too, though for a very short span because they were soon back to their normal life as even on the way back they were after us to stop for a bite & toy at the Mc Donald.
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